So often people will come to see me who have been feeling depressed or sad for a long time. Often they will not know why, they just know they don’t want to feel this way anymore. When we start talking they begin to “unpack” their life and all of their issues they have been struggling with come to the light of day. They start to see how they have been carrying around old baggage that no longer serves them, but has just become so familiar to them. But, they don’t know what to do with it.
See if you can “unpack” your baggage or what you have been carrying around. Begin to do an inventory of the things you carry that feel heavy, or they are a burden. These could be the heavy heart feelings you have as you are just sitting staring out the window, or trying to concentrate, but they keep surfacing. Write them down one after the other and then step back. Seeing these heavy heart issues on paper will sometimes cause people to feel overwhelmed, or others feel a sense of “no wonder I’m sad”. This exercise helps to begin the process of perspective and putting the situations into context.
So many people I work with think that they should be able to handle situations better than they are doing. They have placed unrealistic expectations on themselves. That whatever the losses or the bad news they have received that they “shouldn’t feel so down”, that something is wrong with them. Of course, anyone would feel down if they lost a job or a loved one passed away, but for those who are hard on themselves, they are used to “punishing” themselves for not being perfect, or they are “bad or wrong” for feeling this way. This is old programming that you can move beyond as it no longer serves you.
Be gentle with yourself and normalize that your feelings are your feelings. As you unpack your feelings say to yourself, “It’s ok that I am feeling this way”. “My feelings are real, valid and these are just feelings I’m having”. The last bit is very important as your feelings are just that – feelings. Whatever you may be experiencing is going to pass.